COT 2 - ELECTRIC BLOGALOO: 2005-10-23

COT 2 - ELECTRIC BLOGALOO

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Do You Want New Wave or Do You Want The Truth?

Howdy again C.O.T. Agents (and Spies) and Fnords! I still can't impart "what's new" to you...but I CAN offer you this consolation prize--a "Drrrinking with Felix" article from October 1996 that appeared in Church on Thursday Issue #6. The more erudite of you might actually decipher the true meaning. Sorry I must be so cryptic, Fnords...but all will be revealed soon.

Drrrinking with Felix

I wasn't going to do a Drrrinking column this month (I wasn't going to drink this month). Oh well. Mark, The Artist Formerly Known as Trish, and myself went up to Ashland a little while ago. Our first stop was Alex's Bar and Restaurant--one of my more favorite establishments. Mark ordered a Black Russian. I ordered a White Russian. By the time I was finished with my White Russian, Mark had finished two White Russians. I ordered a Rum & Coke. By the time I had finished my Rum & Coke, Mark had ordered two more Black Russians and finished them. We saw Rob Erstad (the bartender extraordinnaire featured in last month's issue) and gave him a zine. After a while we headed to The Black Sheep pub. Mark ordered Southern Comfort and Coke. I ordered a pint of Guinness. By the time I had finished my Guinness, Mark had ordered who knows what. I ordered another Guiness. Mark ordered a few more of who knows what. While I wrote deliberately bad love poetry with The Artist Formerly Known As Trish, Mark sat at the bar talking to the bartender (some girl from Georgia) and drinking who knows what. Mark walked back to our table grinning. "I just puked," he said. Evidently Mark was trying to impress the bartender from Georgia by drinking a shot of whiskey. I doubt that it impressed her. But it did cause Mark to vomit. "It was just a little stream," he told us, "and no one noticed." The Artist Formerly Known as Trish and myself decided it was time for us to leave. We drove home listening to Jawbreaker Dear You. And Urge Overkill. And Menswear. Mark and myself singing along. At our age this really shouldn't be amusing anymore...and it's not really. We did have a good time though.

Ah, the good old days which really weren't that good. Do with this information what you will, Fnords. As Ever, your Magnum Opiate, FELIX

¶ 10:25 PM //

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Hail Eris!

Long time no talk to, I know, C.O.T. Agents (and Spies). I must be brief, Fnords, but I will offer you this condensed (and scruplously edited) explanation. As those Agents of you in the higher ranks have already acknowledged, Church on Thursday has been infiltrated by spies. I (we) have treated these spies with kindness--in some cases even giving them the illusion of our confidence and friendship. However, they have jeopardized--and, I admit, even had some success in hampering--Phase II. These spies are being dealt with presently with the most extreme forms of Black Magic and Psychological Warfare. When the proverbial smoke has cleared from the spiritual and intellectual battleground that is the C.O.T. Universe, all broadcasts will continue to proceed as normal. My apologies to any of you Fnords who have no ideer what the heck I'm a-talkin' about...perhaps someday you will joing the elite ranks of the C.O.T. initiated. As for you spies...well done, now enjoy your nightmares, financial ruin, and sense of emptiness that you deserve. Honestly, spies, did you think this was all a joke and that we really bought into your bullshit? You probably didn't even know you were being used as a spy, fools! But your greed and caprice led you to the dark spiritual landscape you now confront. And, for that Agency (which must remain unnamed) which has not thwarted its attempts at subterfuge after ten years, we will meet again...but not unawares! Well, Agents and Fnords, just this brief note...I apologize. But the face of The Magnum Opiate of Malaclypse the Younger may appear in a Jell-O mold when you least expect it to provide you with comfort. Be strong. Be safe. Be patient. Be stiff. And now this word from our sponsor...

RUB-A-DUB

O! Hail Eris. Blessed St. Hung Mung.

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O! Hail Eris. All Hail Dis-cord-ia.

RUB-A-DUB-DUB

As Ever, your Clime Fisher, FElix

¶ 7:24 PM //