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COT 2 - ELECTRIC BLOGALOO
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Damn! It has been a long time since the last update to C.O.T. II: Electric Blogaloo. Hey, I've been really frickin' busy. I'm still contemplating whether I should publish my thoughts on what's been occurring recently in my life. While I'm contemplating, C.O.T. Agents (and Spies), I will post this one act play I done wrote a while back whilst in Murray, KY. It's actually part of a trilogy...the play preceding it being "Fire Season" and the one I'm a-presently working on, "Deer Season". This one's a-titled "Squirrel Season". Yes, you're right, more astute C.O.T. Agent (or Spy)...it's already up on this here website. But nobody else knows that I'll wager! Anyway, less talk more rock!
Squirrel Season (for Guido)
by Felix Thursday
Characters (in order of appearance):
Poet Narrator
Miles Davis
Chopin
Christopher Columbus
The Lone Ranger
Mr. President
Cleopatra
The Ghost of Carrie Nation
Hank Williams
Jean Genet
Isis
Wonder Woman
Smurfette
Dracula
King Tut
Davy Crockett
Nothing
Narrator: Fall is Shakespeare weather.
The first leaves are falling
like lovers from balconies.
A Thelonious Monk tune jumps up and
down like a gorilla on a trampoline.
Miles Davis: So What! So What!
Chopin: What are you doing?
Miles Davis: Don't you hear good? Playing my trumpet!
Chopin: You call that music?
Miles Davis: What do you call it?
Narrator: Fall is Shakespeare weather.
The world is coming to an end
(or maybe worse) for some people.
Christopher Columbus: Row Row Row yr boat...
The Lone Ranger: Hey man, where ya headed?
Christopher Columbus: America!
The Lone Ranger: Well, I heard it couldn't be done but
it don't always work.
Mr. President: That's why we have the Electoral College!
Chopin: You call that Democracy?
Mr. President: What do you call it?
Miles Davis: I want my money back
Mr. President: I want my mommy!
Miles Davis: I want your mommy!
Narrator: This Fall it's election year. I want my money back.
Mr. President: I've got a big election!
Cleopatra: You call that an election?
The Ghost of Carrie Nation: Some asshole won't stop talking about
elections!
The Lone Ranger: Let's play Spin Doctor!
Cleopatra: Where's yr wife?
The Lone Ranger: My wife got run over and my dog up and left me.
Hank Williams: The world is coming to an end (or maybe even worse)
for some people.
The Lone Ranger & Cleopatra: Some call it love.
Jean Genet: They said it couldn't be done but it don't always work.
Narrator: Fall is Shakespeare weather.
All lovers are committing suicide.
Davy Crockett (to Dracula): Wanna play Adam and Eve?
Dracula: Who's Adam?
Cleopatra: Who's Eve?
Mr. President: I'm losing my election!
The Ghost of Carrie Nation: Some asshole won't stop talking about
elections!
Hank Williams: The world is coming to an end!
Jean Genet: Worse.
Isis & Wonder Woman: Love! Love! Love!
Smurfette: Gay ain't natural anyway...
Dracula: It's supernatural!
Jean Genet: Dracula is Gay!
Dracula: Werewolves and Mummies are Gay!
King Tut: Watch your mouth!
Dracula: It ain't loaded!
Smurfette: Dracula's got a gun!
Isis & Wonder Woman: You told us it was The Lone Ranger!
Davy Crockett: She told me it was Nothing!
Nothing: Sure, everything is my fault!
Smurfette: Look, I don't know nothing about Nothing!
The Ghost of Carrie Nation & Mr. President: Me neither!
The Lone Ranger: Nobody got hurt anyway.
Narrator: It's Fall and people are falling in love to death.
finis.
Well, there you have it C.O.T. Agents (and Spies). You can find "Fire Season" under UNFATHOMABLE MISC. on this here website and try to put the pieces together. Or not. Oh yeah...the characters in this play may or may not resemble actual-type people--but they're supposed to. As Ever, your J.J. Lewis-Nichols, FELIX.